Leftover Grudges

With a repetitive screeching beep my alarm clock sounded letting me know that 6:00 AM had arrived this past Monday morning. Once again the joyous monotony of leaving my warm bed for a 10-hour work day was beginning. I sat up with a scowl on my face and put my feet down on the wrong side of the bed, so to speak. I had woken up mad, basically for no good reason. As I stumbled into the bathroom and inspected the haggard look on my face in the mirror, I begin to think of new things to be mad about. Moments later while in the shower, my mind drifted back to arguably the worst three years of my life, middle school. In the seventh grade, in Mrs. Cabaniss’ class, one kid used to pick on me ritually, making each new day a torturous experience. One day he came up behind me while we were waiting for the bell to ring and just punched me in the kidney’s as hard as he could. That blow prevented me from being able to sleep any that night because of the internal pain it caused. I started thinking while rinsing the scuds off, “He wasn’t that much bigger than me, I should have turned around and just broke his nose. I bet he would have peed his pants. No one ever would have expected the little skinny kid with glasses to have done something like that; I would have been suspended, but the whole middle school would have talked about it!”
Luckily such folly and futile thoughts left my mind as I grew more awake. However, something strange happened that afternoon at our softball scrimmage. The other team did not have quite enough people to play and had to pick up a couple extra players who just happened to be at the field. One of the guys they picked up to play with them was that kid who hit me in the kidneys. I probably hadn’t seen him in five years. With my eyes fixed on him as he stood next to home plate, I felt God ask me, “Do you still want to break his nose?” I answered in my thoughts, “No I would rather love him like you do.” I felt Him reply back, “Alright then.”
Unfortunately, I did not talk to that guy much the rest of that day. I should have. Before writing this blog though, it occurred to me that many of us probably have untold grudges in the backs of our minds that need to be dealt with. The debts need to be mentally canceled. While reading my bible today I realized that John the Baptist was killed because some woman held a grudge in Mark 6:17-29. Jesus himself said that what comes out of us from within such as evil thoughts, malice, and folly are what make us unclean in God’s sight in Mark 7:20-23. Check it out.